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Synthesis & Synchronicity #1

It has been a long hot summer here in the Cambridge MA area. Like most summers it has had its trials and tribulations, successes and failures.

Back near the begining of summer (perhaps it was late spring) I tried keeping an online journal, inspired by the success of doing such for one of my roleplaying characters. This proved far too controversial for some friends, who had very different ideas of what an online journal was for. It was argued whether it was enough to not just keep the names of folks out of the material or whether one was to completely avoid placing personal experiences and incidents, deep private thoughts, arguments, feelings and other verbage from the public view.

Some said I 'aired dirty laundry', others thought that the purpose of a journal was to make oneself into a celebrity by self-promotion and making believe that one was in some ways larger-than-life. After a number of weeks I ended the experiment, having grown frustrated with these critics and in an attempt to keep these folks as friends. Soon afterwards those same critics started removing themselves from my life, some with excuses, some without.

One friend took a long hard look at his own roleplaying game and realized that I had been right, that my complaints and statements that there were problems and issues that needed to be resolved and were affecting everyone's enjoyment of the game. He decided things were too stressful, that the situation was unresolvable for him and to end his game after nearly 2 years of gaming. Sometimes it hurts as much to be right about something as it is to be wrong, sometimes moreso.

I am a writer, and I must write, this has been an issue in my life since about the age of 5. I am also a roleplayer, I cannot be satisfied with living but a single mundane life, I must have dozens, even hundreds or more experiences in the finite time I have been given in this lifetime. Each teaches me something, expands my awareness of the universe, prepares me for future incarnations and guides me to understand other people better. On some levels it is a spiritual thing with me - there is, if I do not roleplay, an emptiness in my life. And if I do not read or write, there is a hole that sucks away my inspiration, initiative and ability to cope. These writings must be shared in order to have value and to fulfill their purpose.

Writing is more than simply words and thoughts on paper or the conveyance of information. They combine to some extent personal coping and mental therapy with the need for having a voice in the universe. A voice that is unheard, in my mind, serves no true purpose. Only by sharing thoughts, emotions, experiences and opinions can one feel, at times, that one is alive. To be silent and ignored is to lack meaning in one's life, and for one who writes, it is thru the writing that one is heard. This is not necessarily a desire to be an expert or celebrity, one who speaks only so others can listen, but rather a desire to take part in a sort of dialog, to be one voice among many.

Thus this new, somewhat sporatic, online column on my website. It is neither journal nor a tool intended for self-promotion. I have no desire to be a celebrity, household name, online talking head or other such empty position of fame. It's meant to convey ideas, assist in my own train of thought on various subjects, and to share an emotional need to have my voice heard. It will cover those things that are issues in my life, such as writing, roleplaying, game design, being a househusband, living in contemporary America, being a netizen, life in the always rapidly changing city of Cambridge Mass, art, music, fiction, movies, tv, comics and whatever else passes thru my brain or sphere of influence.

It may ramble at times, that is inevitable. I'm not a newspaper columnist, not a bigger than life celebrity (or wanna-be) and I'm not a certified expert in any field. It may occasionally be far too emotional, far too subjective and far too sweeping in statements and beliefs. It may center at times on various projects, past and present, of my own, or on my own perception of reality. Take everything said here with a grain of salt, or a salt shaker, if you wish. Like everything on the net, it should never be taken as pure gospel or absolute truth.

A few minor notes:

In recent weeks I have thrown myself into working on my Quartermain SF Setting for the Hero v5 game mechanics. Building a setting for troupe-style play was a new challenge, one that I hoped would actually get a chance to be used. Kiralee, my wife (and soulmate, best friend, etc.) agreed to attempt to run a campaign using the setting, presuming we could assemble players. This would be her first solo GMing experience, and part of the agreement would be that I would not be acting as player under her, but as the setting advisor and general mechanics aide in dealing with the mechanic involved. Work commenced, and her preparations continue, but where two years ago I had far too many people looking for a game on weeknights, we're having some trouble with the recruitment effort.

This may be simply the dog-days of summer problem, which will improve before the Sept 18th start date, or it may be something else. Only time will tell, but we are definitely looking for players for the campaign. If you're in the area, and interested please look over the recruitment flyer and if it sounds like something you'd be interested in contact Kiralee.

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