_www.FantasyLibrary.com [Visit Who Is Joseph Teller?] Synthesis & Synchronicity 035

Synthesis & Synchronicity #35

I'm not at my best today (nor yesterday when this missive began), but I feel a need to write something, anything, for the website. I'm a bit depressed, a bit listless and a bit bored. The mundane world has been far too much in my face lately, my energy levels are way down and my ability to concentrate is fairly limited. Maybe I'm coming down with something, or maybe I need a hefty boost of chocolate and caffeine. I just don't know.

Lifetimes : An old friend emailed me the other day, someone I hadn't heard from in 13 years, which surprised me and dug up lots of old inner turmoil and thoughts of lifetimes past. When I say lifetimes, I mean that in a figurative way. When looking back at what one was, what one has done and become over the years, it's not possible to see things as a single fluid path. Instead they seem to be milestones, or barriers where life changed completely and absolutely forever. When you moved from one major locale to another, or changed social groups in a big way, or jumped from one set of jobs or career into another. My life is full of things like this.

Thirteen years ago I was a different person, living in different times, with different goals. Nothing much remains of the me of then. Very few people from my life at that time are in my life (except a few relatives), nothing remains of the jobs I had, or even most of the things I owned back then. My viewpoint on reality has changed much since those, and my tolerance level of different behaviors and lifestyles have changed along the way.

I wonder how many other people ever stop on reflect on how much they, their world, their thoughts and their lives have changed. And wether they can mark the breakpoints in their life when everything changed. 90% of my signposts are found at the end of Octobers thru mid Novembers. It's too many to be coincidental, so I know that the forces of the universe must be behind the schedule of the events.... and why I always face the time of my birthday with trepedation and a small amount of fear. It's not exact, it can be as early as the first of October, and as late as say Thanksgiving, but it is a timezone that for me may bring terrors, wonder or huge challenges to survival and personal viewpoint.

Thinking back to write to this friend, and filling him in on all the stuff that has come and gone, has left me a bit introspective along the way.

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